Urgent Dispatch: Now is the Time for Evil Secret Santa
You may remember - those of you who read this blog on the regular - that on our last tour, we came across several hefty gatherings of Santas across the country. This tour does not feature nearly the same ratio of Santa:Shonde. but yet still: There comes a time like this one on every tour, when all the myriad Shondes drop our names into a hat and pull a second, fateful name out of selfsame hat to reveal the person to whom they will function as, in a manner of speaking, an Evil Secret Santa.
Now, some of you may be familiar with the "Secret Santa" concept. Originating in 1707 or thereabouts, small children and manchidren would identify partners and bestow gifts in secret - things such as sticks, string, stones, soap, raisins - upon a partner they had drawn in secret from a cap. To this day, the secretive hijinks continue with such games as "Chanukah Honey" "Cloak and Dagger Comrade" "Barely Visible Buddy" and "Invisible Zombie" (most likely the least known; due to the radical underrepresentation of zombies in the Secret Santa industry). Generally these games are played with more than four people. The Shondes are the obvious exception to the mundane predictability of this rule.
So - we Shondes embark on a significant part of our tour journey: Evil Secret Santa. Evil because rather than bestowing sweet gifts of such things as well-polished obsidian or limestone, these Santa visits are stealth and mostly sinister. Said gift-giver will give the givee something EVIL - perhaps a glowing plastic butterfly? a giant beaded hemp choker? an enormous faux snake. something featuring a demonic hamster. or - the giver will not give but rather TAKE something valuable from their assigned recipient - their soul, just, for example.
Anyway: let the games begin. Wanna keep score? Stay tuned here. Who are you rooting for? Victory in this game is completely arbitrary, but no matter!! Or send us appropriate gift suggestions. The sustainability of the Evil Secret Santa tradition is crucial to our ongoing existence as a band. Thank you and farewell.
Temim
Now, some of you may be familiar with the "Secret Santa" concept. Originating in 1707 or thereabouts, small children and manchidren would identify partners and bestow gifts in secret - things such as sticks, string, stones, soap, raisins - upon a partner they had drawn in secret from a cap. To this day, the secretive hijinks continue with such games as "Chanukah Honey" "Cloak and Dagger Comrade" "Barely Visible Buddy" and "Invisible Zombie" (most likely the least known; due to the radical underrepresentation of zombies in the Secret Santa industry). Generally these games are played with more than four people. The Shondes are the obvious exception to the mundane predictability of this rule.
So - we Shondes embark on a significant part of our tour journey: Evil Secret Santa. Evil because rather than bestowing sweet gifts of such things as well-polished obsidian or limestone, these Santa visits are stealth and mostly sinister. Said gift-giver will give the givee something EVIL - perhaps a glowing plastic butterfly? a giant beaded hemp choker? an enormous faux snake. something featuring a demonic hamster. or - the giver will not give but rather TAKE something valuable from their assigned recipient - their soul, just, for example.
Anyway: let the games begin. Wanna keep score? Stay tuned here. Who are you rooting for? Victory in this game is completely arbitrary, but no matter!! Or send us appropriate gift suggestions. The sustainability of the Evil Secret Santa tradition is crucial to our ongoing existence as a band. Thank you and farewell.
Temim
posted by The Shondes at 10:21 PM
2 Comments:
you f*cking kill me, fruchter. kill. death. slayage. and so forth. BEST OF LUCK.
flarp noise putty (a.k.a. fart putty) sounds like a good idea
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