vlog me senseless

Scary Zombie Pixxxx

So maybe it's because I'm antsy and hungry, sitting here at (the fucking awesome) infinity tattoo parlor in portland, while ian gets a beautiful new tattoo, but I don't have the patience to sort through live photos to post. and besides, we all know you'd rather read temim's urgent dispatches about evil secret santa, zombogamous relationships, and missing tools, then look at endless live show pics, right? So instead, after much delay, here are some pictures of us and our zombie friends from iowa city!!

Here's Temim and Coye (our van-zombie):


And here's us and King Zombie, himself! Who bestowed upon us, Zombie teeshirts!

another shitty vlog

Urgent Dispatch: Now is the Time for Evil Secret Santa

You may remember - those of you who read this blog on the regular - that on our last tour, we came across several hefty gatherings of Santas across the country. This tour does not feature nearly the same ratio of Santa:Shonde. but yet still: There comes a time like this one on every tour, when all the myriad Shondes drop our names into a hat and pull a second, fateful name out of selfsame hat to reveal the person to whom they will function as, in a manner of speaking, an Evil Secret Santa.

Now, some of you may be familiar with the "Secret Santa" concept. Originating in 1707 or thereabouts, small children and manchidren would identify partners and bestow gifts in secret - things such as sticks, string, stones, soap, raisins - upon a partner they had drawn in secret from a cap. To this day, the secretive hijinks continue with such games as "Chanukah Honey" "Cloak and Dagger Comrade" "Barely Visible Buddy" and "Invisible Zombie" (most likely the least known; due to the radical underrepresentation of zombies in the Secret Santa industry). Generally these games are played with more than four people. The Shondes are the obvious exception to the mundane predictability of this rule.

So - we Shondes embark on a significant part of our tour journey: Evil Secret Santa. Evil because rather than bestowing sweet gifts of such things as well-polished obsidian or limestone, these Santa visits are stealth and mostly sinister. Said gift-giver will give the givee something EVIL - perhaps a glowing plastic butterfly? a giant beaded hemp choker? an enormous faux snake. something featuring a demonic hamster. or - the giver will not give but rather TAKE something valuable from their assigned recipient - their soul, just, for example.

Anyway: let the games begin. Wanna keep score? Stay tuned here. Who are you rooting for? Victory in this game is completely arbitrary, but no matter!! Or send us appropriate gift suggestions. The sustainability of the Evil Secret Santa tradition is crucial to our ongoing existence as a band. Thank you and farewell.

Temim

A Brief Zombology: 9/13/08

September 13, 2008:

-The Shondes pull into Iowa City. The smell of Zombies is on the air. It is national zombie day, aka, the Iowa City Zombie March. We have been in conversations with King Zombie himself, whom we are very excited to meet. The combination of anticipation and trepidation is to be expected.
-We pull into treacherously steep ramp behind the Picador, and begin to unload our things. We enter the club to be greeted by fellow band 'Surf Zombies.' They have amazing t-shirts featuring evil enraged zombies on surfboards, enjoyin' a good surf.
-(Incidentally, at the nearby New Pioneer food co-op, I got one of the better sandwiches I have ever eaten: sourdough bread with cajun-style spicy blackened tofu, avocadoes, pepperoncinis, tomatoes. This has nothing to do with zombies, though; hence, the parenthetical.)
-We meet King Zombie! He is friendly and does not try to eat our brains right off the bat. He does, however, insist that we get into the spirit of the day. He awards Louisa a "My Zombie Ate your Honor Roll Student" t-shirt, and me a "Life is Wasted on the Living" t-shirt. We instantly don them. It wins us friends within moments.
-I start a tiny impromptu business, offering zombie tattoos to patrons and zombies alike!! I fail instantly, drawing an extremely shitty banner with the huge clunky letters spelling "I heart brains" on Louisa's arm. It is too late, though - a patron has spotted me, and, in his minorly, uh, inebriated state, asks me to tattoo HIS arm as well. Both of them. They are both already covered in tough guy tattoos, and I do the only thing I know how to do: add to his current tattoos a fedora w/flower, a heart, and a bowtie. He seems unfazed and even pleased by my apparent demasculinization of his tattoos, and lets me know later on that my designs have apparently "scored" him a "date." Whew.
-The Surf Zombies begin playing. It is like The Beach Boys but without brains and with monstrous rage to boot. It reminds us that, as King Zombie says, zombies are "mindless but not voiceless."
-Coye arrives! Our favorite zombie to date. He is in full zombie regalia, and entertains us with Zombie lore about pyrotechnics. We humbly ask him to be our Road Zombie and he accepts!! We realize that, well, one can only really have one zombie, and ask if he would like to enter a zombogamous relationship with our band. He concurs! It is undead at first sight!!
-This Again, aka Steve performs. He is wonderful as usual. He is not a zombie. Yet.
-We perform. We are not zombies either. Yet.
-Zombies like our band! A very nice doctor zombie gives us great compliments! King Zombie and his brother start a wave of zombies asking us for our autographs! Flattery will get you everywhere, o ye zombs.
-While we are talking to zombie and non-zombie fans, Caustic Vision performs. They are not be confused with Apocalyptic VisionS (multiple visions in their case), with whom we co-billed in Atlanta two years ago on one of the most eclectic bills we've ever been on. They remain, we think, "the angriest band in america," though Caustic Vision may be the most caustic.
-Post-show: Iowa City has sauerkraut pizza. That rules.

xo
Temim

Urgent Tools; Bins Dispatch

For those of you closely following such important news topics as such Shondes tour accoutrements as Van Organizing "bins" and Triple Utensil forkspookknife "tools", (herein simply called "bins" and "tools") you should know the following (and of course, please update your facebook statuses appropriately):

-The bins are heinously underused. They are filled with some things, but we're not sure what those things are, or what they're for, exactly. A bungee cord or two, a CD or four, some inter-band Secret Santa gifts of yore. A sock. Useful stuff.

-The tools are a whole 'nother story. What began as a fundamentally foolproof way to ensure that each Shonde has dependable means by which to eat such things as oatmeal; soup; shredded wheat, is now a chaotic situation involving tools that are dirty, obstructed, neglected, or, dare I confess, LOST. Testimonials below:

Louisa: "I set my tool on 90210, but then someone moved 90210, so I don't know where my tool is. Also, the case for for my tool is separate; the empty sheath for my tool."

Eli: "I have no idea where my tool is."

Pretty heavy stuff. I promise to keep you posted on this crucial issue.

Chicago 9/10

The Void: Lexington, KY

Photos courtesy of the fabulous Casie - thanks!!

Headliners: Louisville, KY

Ann Arbor... Our reactions to an indescribably horrible situation at the fleetwood diner.

Overdue: Photos from our Ann Arbor SHOW

Here's some delightful show pics thanks to my new big brother, Yago.

Overdue: Photos from our 90210 Party

the scene. with peach pit-style food.
some reactions to our first brenda sighting.
our version of Nat. hard at work.

adventures in satellite

Um. So, two of the most low-tech people on the planet are currently en route to St Louis in a borrowed Subaru with ample time and a million trillion XM satellite radio stations to explore. Louisa and Ian are in the Rented Monster Van as our sad Original Van sits in Chicago being repaired, and we are in the car with our minds being blown by satellite radio options.

I keep trying to sneak us back to such stations as "90s alternative" and "deep classic rock," while Eli is currently keeping us on "the message," which bills itself as Christian rock and pop. When he's not looking, I'm going to "Show tunes" next. Also, we listened to the Mets game which mostly just depressed us, but was still cool, 'cause, well, Mets game in the car on the way to St Louis.

Minute by minute updates:
-I torture Eli with Ultimate Karaoke rendition of "Somethin' to Talk About," including special Bonnie Raitt flourishes.
-I am taken back to my childhood love affair with Ricky Nelson as we listen to "Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen," and I reminisce fondly about the day when I found out he was actually dead, which was a very hard day for me.
-I make us listen to the entirety of "Janie's Got a Gun."
-Some song involving "squirrels waving from the trees."
-I make us listen to the entirety of "Plush." I know, I know.
-The show tunes stations disappoints immensely. Shame!
-The DJ on the generic 60s station refers to the "drool trough."
-We discuss Prince and what kind of Four he is (see previous entry for Four, definition)
-Thank goodness for the Supremes.

Stay tuned here for more riveting excitement.
xo
Temim

Cats I Have Known

I need to discuss this cat I met. No, seriously, for those of you who are familiar with the enneagram and know what a Four is (keywords: different, special, glittery, easily distracted by shiny things), this cat - a resident of Lexington, KY, who I shall call "A" to protect his, er, anonymity - was a HUGE EFFING FOUR.

Eli and I walked into Lex BFF Don's house, where we stayed, as the cat-non-allergic people in the band. The feline members of the household were the aforementioned "A," and then another cat, who shall herein be called "J." We respect cat anonymity around here. Eli instantly gravitated toward cat "J," who was, shall we say, REGAL. Beautiful, gray, restrained, dignified. And then there was A. A was, as Don said, "a puddle of cat." Black and white - white face with black patterns and a big old black triangle over his nose. He was de-clawed and, well, he giggled. I mean, there was purring, but then there were other noises very akin to the giggle. He liked being rubbed under his chin, and apparently really likes corners. And no, not, like, cozying up all catlike in a corner, but likes hanging out in corners, staring at the wall, and just admiring their corner-like qualities!

A four-cat. I was instantly in love. I will miss him terribly and will advocate our return to Lexington very soon if for no other reason than for our reunion.

That is all for the moment.

Temim distracted-by-shiny-things Fruchter

Skateparks and Shows

A bit of an anecdote - as you possibly read in the last post on our blog, we played at a skateshop last night that featured its own mini-ramp in the space (a mini-ramp is kind of like a small half-pipe that never actually becomes fully vertical, it's not uncommon for a shop to have one fwiw). We played right next to the ramp, but not on it.

So anyway, this reminded me of the last show my band, Demonic Approach, played. We ruled (that's sarcasm, we didn't rule at all). we got this show at an indoor skatepark called SCRAP (i think it was an acronym for something). Anyway, every summer there would be shows there and I assume that people would come for the shows who weren't my friends but for the most part i remember there being seas of 11 year olds skating while their parents watched with some consternation at the bands playing near them.

Anyway we got a show, and this was the first show of the new incarnation of our band which had gone from "straight-up grind" to something a bit more "technical" aka ridiculous which, for the most part, involved playing in time signatures 7/8 and attempting even more ludicrously complicated things far beyond our collective skill level - all whilst having a drummer who had been playing for all of like 8 months and totally sucked (no offense, Steve, you weren't the only one who sucked). Anyway so xDAx (our clever acronym for ourselves) played, and as you probably already guessed based on the above information: we sucked.

I don't remember much besides that, but on the way back from the show - an hour from where we lived - I got pulled over and was given 4 driving tickets from a cop.

We never played another show after this.

My bandmates tried to hold a few practices without me because i was a bit of a downer at this time in my life. Apparently when i'd come to practice all i'd do was sit on my amp and stare at the floor. I don't exactly remember this but believe it to be true.

Not long after this was the short lived band "Baio" which I sang(read: screamed) in and featured Patrick Stumph, of Fallout Boy fame, on drums.

Glenview Hardcore lives forever.

Anyway, I had a brief moment of fear that our show next to the miniramp in Lexington, KY would be our last us going out like the rockstars we are, like the Gator.

it wasn't, we are about to play Louisville tonight.

sweet.

ian

i'm in love with kentucky.

okay, i'm having an epiphany here (sitting at Headliners, a 500-capacity venue in Louisville, KY) -- it rules to play all different kinds of show spaces. really. while i might dream of the day we *can* play any venue we want, i don't dream of the day where we don't do cool shit like last night in Lexington -- where we rocked an all-ages show in a skate shop (the LAST remaining all-ages venue in Lexington!)

There was literally a ramp next to the "stage" and kids can skate while you play. IN fact, YOU can skate while you play, in theory. if you do things like that. It was awesome, despite my having to steam my throat after the show instead of actually communicating with anyone. We got to meet some rad people and eat avocados and see one of the most extensive horror movie collections in the country. i got to sleep in a room with said horror movie collection -- an entire section devoted to zombie movies, a stephen king-derived section, with "christine" awkwardly bridging the gap from that to the john carpenter section (well, that was my doing,) a whole lot of classics and a whole lot of classic crap -- it was amazing.

We love Don. He is our Lexington BFF.

Now, sitting at Headliners, I'm thoroughly enjoying the sound system, the comforting sound check (I am forcing myself to sing as "gently" as possible so I don't destroy my voice, and consequently, my life's an entire purpose - but if you know me, or anything about me, you know that not only SUCKS for me but is also damn near impossible), and the great bands on the bill. Young Widows, Lucky Pineapple and Venus Trap are all Louisville institutions that we're honored to be sharing a bill with.

I'll be sad to leave Kentucky tonight, but visiting Ian's family in Chicago will certainly be nice, not to mention another awesome break from van-liness.

xoxoLouisa

Massage

Ok. Everyone told me not to do this for fear of nasty spam, etc. But I really need someone to give me a massage (professional!). it's for the good of indie music. Any takers? Anyone know a great body work person? xoLouisa

Driving Through Bowling Green: Home of Scott Hamilton

Leaving Ann Arbor was bitter sweet. It's always nice to have a couple days off with family, before setting back to van-life, where looking out the window constitutes "emotional space". But going on with tour is exciting - we have a really full week ahead of us: 5 nights in a row.

I, for one, will be donning a sign the whole time that says "don't talk to me. I'm not on a rockstar trip. Believe me, this is worse for me than it is for you." That, and then steaming my throat with my non-bong, non-nebulizer, that Eva calls "the vape" (as in, vaporizer). I was thinking maybe this would be more fun if I actually became a total primadonna. You know, learn how the other half lives and all that. I thought I could wear a tutu and demand things to accomodate my incredibly sensitive existence. Any suggestions? Are there any real live primadonnas out there who can fill me in on how this works?

In other news, I've acquired yet another appliance to clutter the van.

For more updates on my worst nightmare realized, check my LJ. I'm going to have to start verbalizing things there, since I'm not allowed to FUCKING TALK>>>>>

xoxoLouisa

SPOILER ALERT: 90210 REVIEW

nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh. nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh. chh chh.

We've done it! We've had our 9/02 viewing party and the premiere didn't disappoint (well, yeah it did), in it's 2 hour long glory.

Ian made his promised peach pie, mega burgers and milkshakes in nat's honor (see pics) and we all gasped together at our first, disturbing sightings of Kelly and Brenda's mangled faces. We thought it best to review the episode collectively... so without further ado... I'll pass this laptop around the room for shonde reactions in real-time.

Louisa: My favorite moment was when Kelly and Brenda talked about catching up, but OH MY GOD did I miss something? What is up with Kelly's baby? Is Brandon the dad? HELP?

Temim: I spent a good deal of the episode wracking my brain to try to figure out which Kelly relationship involved the weird craggy principal guy back when they were in high school. Who WAS he?? The weird violating cowboy man? Grant Show's less-attractive twin?? Also: my heart quite literally stopped when those fateful words were uttered: "Hi, I'm Hannah Zuckerman Vasquez."

Eli: OMG Hannah *killed* me! But then of course she never recurred... anyway we spent a good part of the episode trying to find ways to create obviously much-needed near death trauma experiences for Annie. What happened to Brenda's face?

Louisa: I think what happened to their faces is the question on everyone's mind. Brenda is hard to look at. Kelly is too, but in a more successful sort of way. And no, Temim, I don't think he's supposed to be the cowboy-rapist! In terms of key consistency/inconsistency issues --on the plus side, no old characters are recurring with DIFFERENT ACTORS. That would be heinous. But I do think that the glaring absence of central characters who didn't want to appear is problematic. At least MENTION the whole original gang - come on! Like, Brandon was discussed, but not Donna?? Jeesus... On another topic, I can't say I'm surprised to see that one consistency they've wholly MAINTAINED is the lack of character development for the one or two POC characters. SPOILER ALERT: WE just confirmed the paternity of Kelly's baby online.... holy shit!!! Bring back Dylan! This totally makes the series finale more gratifying!

Ian: I don't know how many episodes of this i'm gonna make it through. So far, besides the characters from the original series, it doesn't have much going for it. Is this what they said when Star Trek the Next Generation premiered? Cos that ruled and was way better than the original series (begin Trekker flame war here...). Ugh, this show looks a lot like The OC.

Louisa: God you are such a fucking DOWNER, Brannigan!

Eli: No it's totally true. Next Generation totally ruled and I'm pretty certain this isn't going that way. Highlight- Dad/Principal says "I mean, I don't know what to do about my adopted baby out there. I mean what if DIXON'S parents came back? I wouldn't want them anywhere *near* us... because they're BLACK!"

Temim: Well, you guys, to be fair. Some really great things happened to build on the original. For one thing, "Brinda" has now finally come into her own as "Brenda." And the guest star possibilities! Brother David might come by to consult on Erin's next "blogisode!" Jesse might come storming in to provide legal support to the nameless identical Gossip Girl Lite cast members as they pull the next generation 'Donna Martin Graduates' when Dixon is permanently disallowed to play Lacrosse! But I have to say, the Annie parts were really hard to make it through. Also, the real heartbreak?? What in tarnation has happened to the original peach pit?! It's not even a shell of its former self? And poor Nat, his only line being about the "confounded newfangled espresso machine," as though he's been waiting behind the dusty peach pit counter since 1993 just to say that line. Once again, my heart stopped, but in the bad way. Also, how many episodes until the requisite Christmas episode with the requisite homeless slash Vietnam vet Santa with the mysterious twinkle in his eye??

Louisa: oh good lord. Maybe it's better for the world if this show fails....? Seriously the 'improvement' re: race politics consists of adding a poc cast member -- ONE PERSON OF COLOR in the gang. You know? There are actually ( a few ) shows these days with semi-believable multiracial casts... 90210 is clearly not on board...

In any event... friends and fans - we welcome your opinions on the new 90210. It was mainly enjoyable in the scream/shock/horror-inducing sort of way, but the jury is definitely out on loyal viewership. For my own sake, I fear the Star Wars prequel phenomenon. That I will be sucked in for a joyless-ride, perking up only slightly at each reference to characters from the original 3 movies (or "have you talked to Brandon lately?")... Looking back on star wars - it wasn't worth it! But i had no choice. Not seeing them? THAT"S IMPOSSIBLE>>>>>>>>>

this collective post has degenerated......

VACATION, all i ever wanted

Here we are, having completed the first 4 nights of tour, kicking back with the fam in Ann Arbor. Adam (my nephew) is blaring a theramin version of "Crazy" on his neighboring computer. Ian is cleaning up from the fucking fantastic meal we just feasted on.

Tour is definitely off to a great start - old friends and sing-alongs at The Black Cat in DC, filling Tritone in Philly beyond capacity, meeting super cool kids in Morgantown, WV and Pittsburgh... but it's awesome to be getting a break for a couple days. We have a lot of plans for our day off, including GETTING SOME FUCKING SIDE MIRRORS FOR THE VAN (no more mystery merging, please), me getting a massage (see below for details on my personal HELL), doing tons of promotion work for upcoming shows, and most importantly...9/02.

SO. Tomorrow is an official Shondes holiday: 9/02 - the premiere of the new 90210. Ian is cooking again for the party -- the menu is slated to include vegan mega-burgers and peach pie for those of you who know what this means. Ian will also, obviously, be wearing a Nat costume and offering gentle guidance to anyone who wanders in with a troubled face. Oh, and 3 scoops of ice cream (served by Temim in full Cindy Walsh regalia).

Moving on....
A recurring conversation over here revolves around the ideal Shondes cover song.... I can't really reveal the options, but would welcome your suggestions? My dad has like, 15, so I KNOW you have some too. (To update on other happenings in this room -- Adam and Eli are currently working on a mandolin/ukelele Beirut duet... I believe this will be on youtube imminently. Search for: "when 2 ones attempt to play music together")...

Personally, I'm thrilled to have time off here because of my personal hell condition which = my worst nightmare. My left vocal cord is swollen, making my voice "aspirate." In other words, swelling means your vocal cords can't close all the way, which means there's always air escaping when you sing. This makes you sing harder, to produce the same sound you're used to, which in turn increases the swelling. (For those of you familiar with enneagram, read: when 8 goes to 5 and fixates alone in silence. The van is my 5 hive before shows.)

So I'll be using tonight and tomorrow to NOT TALK and steam my throat, and basically be as fucking high maintenance as I've ever been in my life. But I figure, I can at least add to the growing canon of vocal swelling/nodes/polyps kvetching. At least I'm in good company with Cindy Lauper and Amanda Palmer.

xoLouisa

Crucial Updates from the Van

1. Crucial update on Van Organization: Each Shonde now comes equipped with both a Tool and a Bowl. The Tool, as mentioned earlier, functions as spoon, fork, knife, and generally shiny silver object with its own Fancy Case. Each bowl is, of course, shaped like an apple, and comes equipped with a lid. Each Tool fits easily in each bowl, until they can be later relegated to the requisite Tubs, late-era replacements for earlier-period-Shondes "Bins." Tubs, after all, are more sophisticated and sleek than the previously used Bins.

2. Crucial Update on Foliage: We are driving through Cleveland and have officially seen some reddish/orangeish leaves! This makes us happy.

3. Crucial Update on Music: We have been consistently listening to city-specific songs. After all, Ian has been in control of the ipod. Alas, there was no song for Beaver Falls.

4. Crucial Update on Morgantown: The Mountaineers won the game, so fortunately, no one was too dejected at our show. We had a great time sweating through our set and playing our hearts out at 424 Clark street, after which we were generously treated to excellent tofu scramble and some quality time with a verrrry cute cat! Thanks, Annie!

5. Crucial Update on Pittsburgh: Garfield Artworks is always a fun place to play, and this time, there was an installation piece featuring 8,000 crushed soda cans on the ceiling. Manny, as always, is such a mensch, and we love playing there.

That's all for now. Stay tuned for more of the most crucial Shondes up-to-the-minute-van-news you could possibly want to know.

Beaver Fever

As we venture west (and north) from Pittsburgh we will be staying the night on Big Beaver Blvd, in Beaver Falls, PA.

That's all.